Chapter II – Wife My Butt!
“Ha ha ha, look at your face!” the Celestial King finally pulled himself away from me, laughing like an idiot.
This guy! Would he die if he never harass me every single time!?
I quickly wiped the part on my neck where he kissed with my sleeves and threw him a disgusted look, “you! Whatever your proposition is, I say no so let me scram.”
The Celestial King’s complexion became dark, he materialized a grand seat with a snap of his fingers and sat on it comfortably. “Tell me. After you complete your hundred years here in Hell, where will you go? You know very well that you cannot be reincarnated again.”
“Maybe cook myself to feed the little demons?” I answered with a rhetoric tone. The Celestial King sighed as though he was terribly exhausted.
His fingers landed on his forehead as he forced out a laugh, saying, “before you cook yourself, how about you listen to my proposition first?”
“You know how I can’t escape from you, so why even bother to ask?” I retorted. I always never had a choice but to listen to his nonsense every time we converse, but at least I can keep myself from the demon butchers while I’m still here. Win-win.
The king of gods raised his lips, he snapped a finger and a floor cushion magically appeared before him. “Come,” he gestured me to sit on the cushion.
I gave him a suspicious glare, “what’s with the hospitality?”
“Ignore it,” the Celestial King locked his cold, dark eyes on mine. I could only wonder what kind of food did he eat that he’s acting all chummy all of the sudden.
With a suspecting gaze, I grabbed the cushion which was touching his feet and sat on it- ten feet away from him.
The veins on the Celestial King’s forehead almost popped out after I slid away with the cushion a five feet more. It looked like he was straining himself from throwing a glacier at my face so I slid back a little. What a troublesome guy.
“You’re quite rude to me, aren’t you?” he snickered. “Do you even think about what could happen to you if you continue your insolence towards the king of gods, Red the Mortal Demon?”
“I’m rude to everybody,” I proudly replied, “and no, and don’t call me ‘Mortal Demon’, it doesn’t suit my splendour.” Well, he never did anything serious other than bully me all the time so why even bother to think?
The king before me let out an amused smirk and then he whistled. Suddenly, the cushion I was sitting on rose and floated in midair. I yelped as I held tightly on its sides, meanwhile the Celestial King kept smirking. His smirk would grow bigger as the cushion slowly brought me to him.
“Put me down this instant,” I told him with the most unpleased gaze, my face just a feet away from his’.
The Celestial King laughed, I fancy handsome guys so I set aside the thought of slapping his cheeks hard. With another whistle the cushion laid itself back onto the floor. It was back touching his feet again.
“Isn’t this too close?” lifting my head to see his face, I shot him a glare.
He looked down to meet my eyes. His right hand rose and gently cupped my chin, “indeed, it doesn’t suit your splendour. That’s one reason why you must consider my proposition.”
I coldly slapped his hand away from my face, replying, “just say it and get done with it!”
He huffed, put his hand back to where it belonged and looked away, “you only have one way to kiss this place goodbye. However, you’ve been a very amusing friend this past hundred thousand years so I will add another option. Now you have two options.”
I looked up to him with bright eyes. Is he really going to let me get out of Hell? Did he bumped his head somewhere?
“Now, no need to look all that excited,” he said with a hint of irritation in his voice. Seems that he’s grouchy about how I slapped his hands. Well, I’m sorry that I’m not sorry.
But to show gratefullness for giving me another option, I stood, ran to his back and started massaging his strong and broad shoulders. I guess it’d be fine to lay my hands on him now since he has been touchy earlier.
“Hmm, you should do this more often,” he murmured. What did he mean by that? I set that thought aside when he talked again.
“Listen closely,” I could feel him smiling from the back of his head, “First option, you can join the election for the next God of Chaos. Of course you can easily win it with your Mortal Demon title.”
I nodded with interest. The Celestial King continued, “however if you accept this option, you shall be my wife.”
Before I could break the Celestial King’s shoulders, I pulled back my hands and laid them on either sides of my waist. “Is my existence just a joke to you?”
The Celestial King rose from his grand seat and stood, facing me. With a sinister smile he replied, “then does being the Celestial King’s wife sounds like a joke to you?”
“You hate me and I hate you, why should I be your wife?” I retorted. This guy really is unreasonable, could I just be the God of Chaos and not be his wife? And doesn’t he know that I conspired to kill the incarnation of his big sister in my previous life in the mortal world?
The king just smiled and said, “don’t you want to hear the other option?”
I would be glad to hear it as long as it doesn’t involve me being a wife, though I’m sure that it’ll be another one of the Celestial King’s unreasonable plot.
“Second option,” he crossed his arms, “you let me kill you and die permanently. You will cease to exist forever.”
Seriously, this guy is unbelievable.
“If I choose nothing will you leave me alone forever?” I said with a tired voice. I can choose nothing, can’t I? I should just suffer a hundred years in Hell and live there forever.
I could just complain to the Sanitary Department about the stench, right?
“You impudent girl!” I didn’t notice that the Celestial King lost it and was giving off murderous aura.
I saw him go angry many times before. He would only calm down if I gave him what he wanted, just like a kid. “What do you want?”
The Celestial King instantly cooled off. He gave me on of his most handsome smiles and said, “be my wife.”
“I don’t want a Vegetarian husband,” I replied as soon as he finished his sentence. What’s his deal? He’s the Celestial King, the king of gods, why would he want me to be his wife instead of the heavenly creatures like the angels in Heaven?
There’s only one reasonable theory – the Celestial King thinks that I’m the most amusing creature to play on, if I stay here in Hell for eternity he won’t be able to harass me as much as he could because he hates the smell here. On the other hand if I marry him, he can bully me every minute and do inappropriate things on my body.
I shuddered and covered my chest area with my arms. I can’t believe that the thought of him being inappropriate even entered my mind.
“I don’t want to be your wife!” I yelled at him helplessly. His murderous aura started to come out again, but I continued, “I’ve endured your bullying for a hundred thousand years, can you please let me off just this once?”
“No,” the Celestial King replied sternly. “Don’t get me wrong, Red. I only want to marry you for political reason and nothing else.”
I felt ashamed for creating the ‘only one reasonable theory’ and looked away with a red face. So much for acting all chummy earlier, it was all for political reasons.
I admit feeling a bit disappointed, I thought that the Celestial King had started to fancy me.
With an awkward scoff, I turned my head back. I can’t lose face for the second time today. “What political reason?
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